Titling this seems pretentious
I live in a constant state of paranoia, I live with the fear that I’m doing it all wrong. Case and point, walking. I examine how I walk. Are my steps too wide? Are they not wide enough? Maybe my foot placement is strange, If I think about it any harder my feet will drag, I hate people who drag their feet while walking. Am I walking side to side? I hope to god I’m not sashaying.
What if I happen to walk past someone? Should I look at them or just walk like I don’t notice them? If I do that I might seem like a douche, I’m totally not a douche, I just don’t want to make people uncomfortable. What if he’s wearing a cool hat or if she’s really cute? Am I allowed to stare or should I not even try. If I try not to try then I’ll look like I’m trying, and then my cover is blown. Damn this is difficult.
Maybe if I should invest in some sunglasses, your eyes are what give you away, what traitors! What kind of sunglasses? I used to wear really small rectangular ones, like Neo does in The Matrix, but I don’t wanna look like Neo. I’d wear aviators, but they make my face look even weirder, the last thing I need is someone to stare at me more than they have to. I look weird regardless. So why even bother with sunglasses?
The only thing that keeps me sane is my music, man this song is awesome and these in-ear earbuds are great, I can jack up the volume to 25 and no one can hear it. Shit, someone is walking in my direction, I better turn the volume down. What if they heard that I was listening to? Some people have really good hearing, possibly better than mine. What would they think? “What is that japanese crap you’re litening to?” Thats what they’d probably be thinking, they’d be right to even question my sexuality because of this stuff. Man my hair looks good today.
